Irreverent Rhymes and Other Such Nonsense.

Aquarius, the Wet Nose Rain Deer.

Aquarius, the wet nose rain deer

Had a swollen runny nose

And if you ever saw it

You would think it was a tap

All of the other rain deer

Used to run away in disgust

They wouldn't let Aquarius

Join in any rain rain dance

Then one hot and humid night

A shaman came to say

"Aquarius with your nose so wet

Won't you help me make it rain?"

Then all the rain deer muttered

As they glared at him with hate

Aquarius, the wet nose rain deer

You'll go down in my story.

--

My Grandfather’s Road

(Sung to “My Grandfather’s Clock”)

My grandfather’s road was too wide for myself,

So I let motorists use it too.

It was wide enough for ten cars side by side

But only two cars with me

Then I ate lunch, tea and dinner too,

And now no more cars can drive through.

Walking on a busy road is frightfully fun,

Walking on a busy road is frightfully fun,

When I stop short, to tie up my shoes,

All the cars behind me stopped too.

--

Cursing the Rain

(Sung to “Stoodla Poompa”)

Walking along and looking at the rain,

All things be fine if only I were dry.

Walking along and looking at the rain,

All things be fine if only I were dry.

Chorus:

Muttering Curses (X6)

Muttering Curses at the Rain.

My ‘brollie works, and so my head is dry

But cursed wind, made everything else wet.

My ‘brollie works, and so my head is dry

But cursed wind, made everything else wet.

[Repeat chorus.]

Cursing the wind with every step I take,

Cause now I have a bowl of water on a stick.

Cursing the rain with every step I take,

Cause now I have a bowl of water on a stick.

[Repeat chorus.]

I like these shoes for comfort that they give.

But cursed shoes, they soak up lots of rain.

I like these shoes for comfort that they give.

But cursed shoes, they soak up lots of rain.

[Repeat chorus.]

--

Skip to the Loo

(Sung to "Skip to the Lou")

My bladder’s full, what shall I do?

My bladder’s full, what shall I do?

My bladder’s full, what shall I do?

skip to the loo, my darling.

Chorus:

Loo, Loo, skip to the loo.

Loo, Loo, skip to the loo.

skip to the loo, my darling.

My tummy aches, what shall I do?

My tummy aches, what shall I do?

My tummy aches, what shall I do?

Skip to the loo, my darling.

[Repeat chorus.]